Originally posted October 2011
An idea that we see in this section is that if we maintain that there is an order of difficulty in miracles, then it means that I am withholding some things from the truth. For some reason I believe that God or Holy Spirit cannot handle the issue at hand. I think that I can solve it myself. This is far from the truth. If I try to solve the issue, whatever it may be, by myself I am sure to be solving it from the ego’s point of view. With the ego in charge of the problem I am only bound to have more problems and round and round it will go.
If I make the decision to give the problem over to the Holy Spirit, then I can realize that I can receive relief. That is why the Holy Spirit is there within our mind, to help us be calm and clear-minded. We cannot do that from our ego perspective. When I do not give over the problem to the Holy Spirit I am desiring to stay in the pain, whatever that pain may be.
I shared a personal example during my Radio program on October 11th, 2011. I had started out the session with a meditation on the Review section of the first 10 lessons in the Workbook for Students. We are told in these lessons that our thoughts do not mean anything, nothing I see means anything, and that we are never upset for the reason we think, and of course that we are preoccupied with the past. This is something that certainly comes up from time to time for all of us without really realizing it. It sneaks in there it seems and then all of a sudden it is in our face with a problem or someone who shows up in our life and I only say this because I had a recent experience.
As I prepared for the program and read through the ten lessons for the meditation, it put a lot of things in perspective for me. My eldest daughter is going through a life-challenging situation currently and is moving back next week to our original hometown in Pennsylvania. I came to observe that there is still a lot of anger from the past 20 odd years not only on my ex-in-law’s part, but also on my part. I had a rude awakening to see how much that was so.
I had received some messages from my ex-brother-in-law in response to something that I had said on my daughter’s Facebook page. I simply had offered her support with some comments that I made. I found some comments others made “interesting” and I said so. It is funny how a little thing like social media as this Facebook phenomena is and how in our lives it can be used as a tool to connect but it can be also be a tool to divide as well. And, mostly how it all can be misunderstood and misperceived.
Then I watched as my email inbox became littered with message after message from Facebook as my ex-brother-in-law kept posting what could be perceived as attacking remarks, 1, 2, 3, 12, 14, etc. It became disturbing to me, yes, to my peace and I was already full from an emotional night dealing with my eldest daughter. For her it has been drama, drama, drama, and more drama. I was doing well on maintaining the calm and peace as I listened and talked with her earlier in the living room. I came down to my office, then all these e-mails from Facebook.
Yes, indeed, I perceived them as attacks. Yet remembering that I am the one perceiving the attack and I am indeed responsible for my own mind that I could choose peace with the Holy Spirit. However, I did not choose peace right away and was not willing to give it up and all that I saw was all the grievances right there back in my face.
Everything from 20 odd years ago was right there right in my face again and certainly I was not seeing anything as it is now, and I was preoccupied with the past. I was seeing only the past and I was upset and I think the word upset wasn’t even the word I could use and I don’t know what the word to use here would be. I went from being very calm and helping my daughter to deal with her life situation drama to being in my own drama with all the old hurt and pain exploding like a volcanic reaction. I definitely can say I lost my peace and lost my mind. I yelled down here to myself here in my office everything that I had wanted to say for the last 20 years and then yelling and berating myself. Then I shifted to just sobs, uncontrollable sobs. Then as quickly as it started there was a sudden calm. Throughout as strange as it sounds, the whole time I was praying to the Holy Spirit to help me to see beyond this. Holy Spirit, help me to have peace and help me to forgive.
I return to Facebook and write to my ex-brother-in-law and say something to the effect, “Listen sometimes we say things we don’t really want to say because we are upset or angry but I think that we need to do right now is to lay down the sword and I offer you the olive branch of peace. Let’s just be in support my daughter and let all this past history go. Let’s let peace and forgiveness reign.” I knew that he was a devoted Christian and he did respond in kind. However the next day, the morning of the broadcast, I thought all had been resolved but I received more comments hurled my way. More fodder for Holy Spirit. I never responded.
The only way that we can come to peace is by bringing all that I believe, whether it is about myself or about the past or the guilt that I may be feeling or the anger that I am feeling or the upset that I may be feeling, all of it, BRING THAT to the Holy Spirit to receive His gift. His gift is the gift of peace. I cannot solve anything myself. The only way to solve my perceived problems or grievances or judgments is to become still within. I step back and fully know that I cannot solve the problem from my own little mind.
The peace comes in simply by giving it to Him. I may not be perfect in giving it all to Him but when I do, I know that I feel relieved. The Holy Spirit would release me from the pain. We all have moments that come up like me, a 20-year-old hurt arising out of seemingly nowhere. But I know through my study of A Course in Miracles that I am not going to solve it by continuing the attack or the judgment. It is stepping back, several, many times if needed.
We have to remember as the Introduction to the Course tells us:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
So we do not linger in the grand illusion of the situations and experiences of our lives. We ask for clearer judgment, the Holy Spirit’s Eyes to see perfection and Love everywhere. We ask ourselves would we be content with the pain or would we be content with being the wonderful children of God that we are. We can be content with His Plan. We can choose His plan and His meaning and not the meaning that we give.
We can stop giving meaning if someone raises an eyebrow at us, or if someone responds or doesn’t respond to an email or phone call. We can just file it in the God folder and let Him handle it and not file it in the ego folder where we give it meaning by our judgments. God’s folder deletes all judgments. It is simply a small step of willingness to forgive and to see all differently. Sometimes we will make mistakes and sometimes we will forget. However, our Father does not judge us as He loves us wholeheartedly. And that is something worth remembering, that is in fact the Truth.
Rev. Deb Phelps
Originally posted October 2011