Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of Reality
I am afraid of Who I really am. I am afraid of God and I am ultimately afraid, as crazy as it sounds, to be truly happy. That is what God’s Will is for me then why do I keep choosing the world?
The ego claims it wants to “buy” my happiness. Look here and there and everywhere, it the ego is really against me. It’s a setup to make it look like I’ll find happiness but I never will here.
If you do not know what your reality is, why would you be so sure that it is fearful?
The fear of the unknown is what holds me back. What if? What if? What if? I have to step forward in trust. I think that I am alone and will always be alone but my Guide, the Holy Spirit, is always there with me. He is in my mind and He is my reality.
The Holy Spirit doesn’t want me to sacrifice. I have been sacrificing my True Self or the recognition of my True Self. How silly it seems intellectually but still I go about my day, sacrificing by focusing on the body, or reprimanding myself in my mind, or playing small to others.
God is Love and you do want Him. This is your will.
And I do want to be with God. Fear is what holds me back. It is the fear that I will let go of this identity here in the world and lose! But that’s the point, lose the world to gain Heaven.
Jesus then says that I spend an enormous amount of energy to deny the truth. Amazing! I keep trying the impossible and never to succeed. But the ego says to keep trying. Some things are just futile attempts. Trying to stay in this world and make it the home of my happiness and peace is a futile attempt. That doesn’t mean that I don’t do what I need to do while I am here. I can have good relationships, enjoy what is hear, yet knowing in my mind that this is not the REAL thing. I can use that of the world to demonstrate God’s Love. That is what is vitally important.
The acceptance of the Real World is what will help to alleviate any anxiety, depression and even panic (as Jesus says here). I cannot look beyond myself for truth for it is within me. Christ is in me, and where He is God must be, for Christ is part of Him.
Peace to all,