Lesson 187 - I bless the world because I bless myself.

   When I began to think about what stood out to me in this Lesson, it was the word "sacrifice." I even reread the lesson, but kept stopping at "sacrifice." I knew that this was a clue for me to tune in with Holy Spirit for insight. So as I spoke with Holy Spirit about this word "sacrifice" and what it symbolized at this moment in time, what returned to me was the following.

   Sacrifice contains the essence of guilt. Sacrifice means that the giver is not truly giving out of love, but rather a sense of "I'm doing this for you and you better appreciate it." It is not true giving. True giving is done from one's sacred heart of love with a complete knowing that both the giver and the receiver are wholly blessed by the act and the giving itself is the return. In sacrifice, it is always "Look what I've done for you." It is an unloving stance. There is anger and there is judgment involved.

   If I truly want to give to another, including giving to myself, then I release all attachments, all cords, all ties, all conditions from the gift. That is what sacrifice is, it is giving with conditions, emotional or other reciprocal conditions. It is giving with expectation which then always leads to resentment. There is also a sense of superiority and inferiority, and I can hear in my mind the words, "You owe me." There is a fear that I will be lost, that I have lost, never to recover again what I have given. I will end up with nothing, alone and abandoned in the darkness and so I better be sure that I get and retain what is mine.

   I understand that traditionally by the church (and others) that I had been taught this concept. Jesus died for you so what do you do? You give to God and others with hidden resentment and guilt. But Jesus did not give with blame and guilt. He says in the Course that the crucifixion was the "last useless journey the Sonship need take, and that it represents release from fear to anyone who understands it."  Thus, this idea of sacrifice comes from a place of fear. I am afraid that I will not receive anything in return and so I will make the other person, myself, God, whoever, feel guilty about it, my own guilt.

   Instead I can remember the message of "Teach only love for that is what you are."  Give only love for that is what I am. Be only love for that is what I am. I let go of the chains that bind me to conditional love. I release all to the Holy Spirit for clarity and understanding. With God within me, I have all that I need and so I can give and give again freely knowing that I am replenished with an unending supply. I am truly giving to myself.

   And so I lay aside the crown of thorns I have used and remember the lilies through their purity of love's forgiveness. I remember that I am whole and complete and that I am shining in the grace of God. As I shine, I encourage others to shine their most precious light. We are all blessed, every one of us.

         © MiraclesOne Foundation 2005-2006

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